“In the world we live in, what we know and what we don’t know are like Siamese twins, inseparable, existing in a state of confusion. Confusion, confusion.”—The Sputnik Sweetheart - Haruki Murakami (via kari-shma)
"You know what’s the problem with me? It’s the same problem that only selfish people have in common; The problem is I forgot that you are a person who coexist in my world, who has the same guts as me, with the same capacity to feel and think just like me. I don’t know what I’m looking for. You are just a kite that got tangled up in my strings and the very things that I can expect to happen, happens— we both fall. But my real problem though: I simply don’t understand the meaning of together and I definitely do not understand the meaning of love, which sadly makes me a very very incompetent lover."
It’s at time like these when I feel more lost than ever. I don’t know what I want, what I need is not what I want, what I want is not what I need anymore. I thought this will be good for me, I thought, but I just don’t know anymore. You’re just like a wave crushing onto me, into me. You and my memories of who you were. I knew you’d come around. I knew you’ll always be in me, no matter what, no matter how.
Ps. This post is for you, I hope you’ll read this, I hope you understand and just know that "…Stay happy. Don’t let anyone bring you down anymore." is like a bullet shooting me right through my chest to my heart, and I want to burst to tears but I just can’t anymore. Painful, it is. L’amour demeure toujours.
The place that describes me best is silent. Not dead silent with no noise, but the kind of silent where there is a buzzing noise amidst nothing. It’s hard to be sure if the noise is in your head or if it’s all around. The place is bare but full of colour at the same time, it all depends when it is you are there. It has a bare wall with photographs that slowly change, no one is changing them or removing them, time is. As surely as time changes anything. A couch sits in the center of this room, it smells perfect, cold and warm at the same time, depending on what you want it to smell like. The smell is addictive like a drug. A good drug though, not like the ones you see on TV. This mere couch makes the room, it’s the best thing about it. It engulfs you, making you forget about all your worries. It’s the perfect couch. But this couch will soon disappear, it wasn’t stolen, it didn’t break, it was thrown out. I’m not sure why, all I know is I’ll regret it, nothing will ever replace it, but I hope I’ll be glad to be rid of it. It was its own fault for becoming too important in this place that reflects my personality.
“Should we hold hands?”
“Because, people will know.”
“So what if they know?”
“It’s better when it’s a secret.”
“So no one can take it from us.”—— Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)
I srsly think it's better to be heartless (or strong, whtevr u call it). It's better to not give a shit instead of loving someone too much and ended up being the hopeless romantic.... When u're heartless, no one can hurt u. So yeah, us two, I think we're gna be just...... fine. ;) -Z
But then again, when you’re heartless people will also say that you’re a bitch but we got used to it and we don’t give a shit, we’re fine, we’re fine :* see you soon!
“Of course it hurt that we could never love each other in a physical way. We would have been far more happy if we had. But that was like the tides, the change of seasons—something immutable, an immovable destiny we could never alter. No matter how cleverly we might shelter it, our delicate friendship wasn’t going to last forever. We were bound to reach a dead end. That was painfully clear.”—Haruki Murakami
Ma petite Amélie, vous n’avez pas des os en verre. Vous pouvez vous cogner à la vraie vie. Si vous laissez passer cette chance, alors avec le temps, c’est votre coeur qui va devenir aussi sec et cassant que mon squelette. Alors, allez-y, nom d’un chien!
(My dear Amelie, you don’t have bones fragile like glass. You can throw yourself against real life. If you do not seize this opportunity, then after a while, your heart will become as dry and breakable as my bones. So go ahead, dammit!)