“Don’t you hate that? Uncomfortable silence. Why do we feel it’s necessary to talk about bull in order to feel comfortable? That’s when you know you’ve found somebody really special. When you can just shut the hell up for a minute and comfortably share a silence.”— Pulp Fiction (via quote-book)
It came into my mind. And I’m about to explode with memories. There’s this certain smell, certain feel about that place and my old room that gives me this nostalgia. I still remember how every time I change the position of my bed, the story of us changes. When I just moved in, the bed’s facing the window, I remember sitting by the laptop a lot, exchanging e-mails, or talking through msn with you. Those were the days when you fought for us again. And then when my bed faced the opposite side, those were the happy days. I remember sitting by the bed, sick and studying and you surprised me, you told me to look out of my window, and I thought to myself, what could be out of my window? It was just a field of tall grasses. But hey, there you were, idk how you got there. You got me porridge, jagabee and blondies, right? And then, when the bed faced the door, not really in front of the door but you know. It was my favorite, the most comfortable yet, it’s the one that brings worst memories. Oh now I know why was it the most comfortable, cause I spend days sleeping there, closing the curtains, slow songs that sings to my heart, cold cold room. I remember, trying so hard to study Chemistry while tearing, and blogging, and listening to songs, and waiting for you to reply my message. I waited for what? Days, and then it came, while I was studying for the exam tomorrow. Hurt me, to the fucking bone. You have no idea. I went out of my room, I saw Hana and Pu and I just crashed down, literally, I fell, but I didn’t cry. I still remember their faces, shocked. Holland Village. The start of everything.
“Now I wish she’d never broken any of her rules. I understood why she held to them so hard. Once you broke the first one, they all broke, one by one, like firecrackers exploding in your face in a parking lot on the Fourth of July.”—Janet Fitch
I’ve been lying on this bed for hours now but I can’t sleep. Tried offing the song and then turning it on again, still I couldn’t sleep. Mixed feelings, happy sad excited disappointed asgdigfb all in one. Now what? Stare into the darkness and let this overwhelming feelings drown me down? Yea well, like I have a choice…
“Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out, and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back.”—Alice Hoffman (via kari-shma) (via quote-book) (via killerpussy)
A Love Song - Amanda Blank. Although the remix with Santigold, I’m a Lady (Diplo Remix) sounds better. The lyric to this just… you’ll see.
When I’m alone in my room Sometimes I stare at the wall And at the back of my mind I hear my conscious call Telling me I need a boy who’s as sweet as a dove For the first time in my life, I see I need love There I was giggling about the games that I had played with many hearts And I’m not sayin’ no names. Then the thought occurred, tear drops made my eyes burn As I said to myself when am I gonna learn? I can feel it inside, I can’t explain how it feels All i know is that I’ll never dish another raw deal Playin’ make believe, pretending that I’m true, Holding in my laugh as I say that I love you.
Saying no more, kissing you on the ear, Whispering ‘I love you and I’ll always be here, Although I always reminisce, I can believe that I found A desire for true love floating around inside my soul Because my soul is cold, one half of me deserves to be this way Until i’m old, but the other half needs affection and joy And the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy
I need love (I need love) I’m a lady I need love (I need love) I’m a lady
I had a dream that you and I were both 16 Holding hands after school, We didn’t care who would see You’d tell me that I was pretty and that you’d love me for life Take care of me forever ‘cause you’d make me a wife When the girls call me up and try to mess with my head Tell ‘em all that if I left you, you’d be better off dead 'cause you'll never love another, they just don't understand That your life would be over if I found another mate, You call me up on the phone, we were talking til we fell asleep, Without you I’d rather be in hell Life just wouldn’t be as fun, it wouldn’t be the same, I wanna stay with you forever and even take your last name 'cause there's no one in my life that makes me feel as good as you The way we cuddle on the couch and share the secrets that we do With all the little jokes that no one else could ever know and the part of me That you can see ‘cause you’re the one I show I know we gotta make it work, ‘cause baby you’re the man for me Without you by my side my world would be incomplete And if you ever leave me lonely, boy my heart would be crushed Right now I know that boy
I need love (I need love) I’m a lady I need love (I need love) I’m a lady I need love (I’m a lady)
Fuck this, fuck you, I said... Don't, but you did.
I’m sorry that I broke the rules , ignoring what you posted on your blog . Anyway I was listening to Perfect two by Auburn , the youtube video with lyrics flashing . I stoned and I started tearing not because its from someone else but this song got me reminiscing about us . I just want to let you know that you’re the best that I ever had and I will ever have . You deserve someone better than me , someone that doesn’t hurt you constantly and I’m sorry that I can’t be the one . Looking at your blog , it seems like there is this someone else that’s making you happy . I’m happy for you because I can’t make you happy anymore and I’m glad someone else or many other people can , and also I’m glad that you’re happy in school which is the only reason why you’re back in Jakarta right ? Just remember , If anything goes wrong , don’t worry . You’ll always have me here and I assure you that . Don’t do me wrong . Do you remember when you said “nobody hurt you like I did but nobody can ever love you like how I did , if anything , I promise you that “. I apologize for all that I couldn’t be or should have been .
Sorry if I ruined anything . I promise this will be the last . I won’t bother you , I won’t hold you back from the things you like and always wanted to do . I realized i have nothing good enough for you to make you stay with me . Wish you all the best and I hope you’ll always be happy . Till then my love .
“I understood why she did it. At that moment I knew why people tagged graffiti on the walls of neat little houses and scratched the paint on new cars and beat up well-tended children. It was only natural to want to destroy something you could never have.”—Janet Fitch
“Affection, like melancholy, magnifies trifles; but the magnifying of the one is like looking through a telescope at heavenly objects; that of the other, like enlarging monsters with a microscope.”—Leigh Hunt (via justbesplendid) (via killerpussy)
“So much wanting and longing, clutching, desiring, passion and hatred and terrible need. Here, death was suitable, there was room for it, the grip of life’s relentless urges slackened, replaced by this icy simplicity. This wasnt her death. It was his. That was the sad and honest truth. Though it would stay with her, it would be more like a black onyx heart on a silver chain, worn privately, under her clothes, close to her body, all her life. The guilt, the beauty, everything. It wasnt over, it had only begun. Well ok then, Okay.”—Janet Fitch
“I almost said, you’re not broken, you’re just going through something. But i couldn’t. She knew. There was something terribly wrong with her, all the way inside. She was like a big diamond with a dead spot in the middle. I was supposed to breathe life into that dead spot, but it hadn’t worked…”—Janet Fitch
“She was starting to think there might be such a thing as karma - that repetition - maybe you lived through the same thing over and over until you stopped caring. Maybe eventually it got less intense, until it was just nothing.”—Janet Fitch
“Girls were born knowing how destructive the truth could be. They learned to hold it in, tamp it down, like gunpowder in an old fashioned gun. Then it exploded in your face on a November day in the rain.”—Janet Fitch
“I regret nothing. No woman with any self-respect would have done less. The question of good and evil will always be one of philosophy’s most intriguing problems, up there with the problem of existence itself. I’m not quarreling with your choice of issues, only with your intellectually diminished approach. If evil means to be self-motivated, to live on one’s own terms, then every artist, every thinker, every original mind, is evil. Because we dare to look through our own eyes rather than mouth cliches lent us from the so-called Fathers. To dare to see is to steal fire from the Gods. This is mankind’s destiny, the engine which fuels us as a race.”—Janet Fitch
“Let me tell you a few things about regret…There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air in between, or each link separately as if you could uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself?”—Janet Fitch
“ Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”—Janet Fitch
Sheen, enough of all your shits. Nothing, nothing, nothing can ever fix us and nothing can ever erase my memories and make a forget. So quit it, don’t even try anymore. You make me sick. Please, okay, no more bbms, messages, emails, twitter, facebook or whatever. No good byes, no need. Let’s leave this at this and please let this be the last one. I don’t need you to drive me insane anymore. Find someone else who can deal with your shits cause you’re just wasting my time.
somebody talked behind you ? one of your bestfriend ?
Who doesn’t? Everyone talk behind everyone’s back these days, from your friend, best friend, even people that you don’t even know pft. No one’s up front, rarely. And if it were my best friend, they wouldn’t be anymore.